The Wedding Game....

This is so totally random a post. I don't know why I have been thinking about the way we ''waste'' money in Africa over ceremonies. The one that bothers me the most is weddings. Why do we have to spend so much on wedding ceremonies.

A typical Naija Bride wants to wear a dress that cost between $3,000 to $15,000. Now, I do not have a problem with that if your father is Otedola or the present President of Nigeria(which means that your father don chop our money finish). Alright, back to the point after spending so much on the wedding dress, why chunk it inside a wardrobe for the remaining part of your life. Why?


Then, you find out that the parents of the couple can decide to ''die''(no pun intended) over aso ebi or the musician to sing on the wedding day. After which the musician will either make you cry or laugh your butts off. At my cousin's wedding, you won't believe the so called "Police Band" did not show face at the reception. We sort of clapped our way to the high table. I have never been more embarrassed in my life.

The part that annoys me the most is after spending 25 million naira for a wedding it will still end at 6pm maximum. If you still spend 100 thousand na the same 6pm and you will wear the same wedding gown.

The wedding planners are making money off us, do I blame them No! She has capitalized on people like you and I that most definitely are party freaks. Is it not madness for a wedding planner to take 10% of the amount you want to spend on your wedding. Of course, a wedding planner does a lot for you running around to get stuff for the wedding. But think about it, are those things really important.

I know a couple that spent close to 6million on their wedding and the couple do not have a car! Not even a rickety one to push them around. Another couple that are quite close to me spent so much time looking for souvenirs and aso ebi and MC that they forgot that the couple will not continue to live in the Uncle's house. They didn't get their own apartment. Madness, I call it.

Wait sef, why am I ranting... the purpose of this post is to ask this golden question

"DOES THE AMOUNT SPENT ON A WEDDING CEREMONY DETERMINES THE SUCCESS OF THE MARRIAGE ITSELF''.

It is the 1st Of August and I am pregnant yet again....

I am ever so grateful to God Almighty for today. This time last year I was about popping,heavy with pregnancy, dark and bloated. To climb the stairs was like a tough job and I can remember my aunt was always shouting you need to climb this stairs 8 times a day so that your delivery will turn out very easy. I climbed stairs so tey, my leg talk one day say: I NO SEND YOU ERRAND! With all my evening strolls and,prancing about, yours truly still had a Cesarean section when the boy no wan commot for my belle. I guess it was the pounded yam i was addicted to in my eight month. Kai, I chop iyan so tey my already round and big tummy will now become very hard and I will be breathing like someone that was ready to pass out. I too like food.lol

Anyways, lil man was due on the 13th but trust me I was already ready to push from the 1st of August, who is going to wait another 2 weeks,lai lai no be me. So, I started walking and cleaning the house with the hope of getting the boy frustrated enough to jump out. For where, the boy just stayed kampe for there oh.

As usual on the night of the 9th I took my ''Iyan'' as usual and went to sleep. Do I even call that sleep, I was just tossing and turning as no position was comfy anymore at that stage. Being gone that far means I normally ''pee'' like 7 times before morning(sad abi). So I went to pee as regular and i just saw blood, checked the time it was 4am. Blood ke, shebi the midwife said na water first,which one is blood.

Hubby was back in Nigeria then and I had to call my auntie to say ''auntie I saw blood''. She flew out of bed and called the ambulance. I was dazed, is this it? So I will soon be a mum. How come people now shout in movies, I am not feeling any pain now. I LIED!

Ambulance came,and I was taken to the hospital.The beginning of the pain/I spent 72 hours in the hospital out of which I spent 68 hours shouting and crying and begging God to forgive me if it was my sins that is causing all the pain. Oh, I nearly forgot this...when I got to the hospital they asked me if I wanted a pain relief or just go natural. I said natural all the way. I am a true African. Eesh, no one begged me when I started shouting for the ''epidural injection''.

Oyinbo people don go I swear, so why do women have to go through the pain of delivery when epidural can just take the pain away in 1 sec. I am not going to lie, I am so sure I died but God sent me back knowing fully well that I never build house for Ikeja GRA, no street has been named after me just yet and of cos,I am yet to fulfill God's plan for my life. Thank you jare Baba God. But for you....

So, I am sure that you are thinking,if she went through all this wahala why get pregnant again. Biko, no vex this pregnancy no be pickin dey inside oh. I am pregnant with IDEAS on how to make money and become famous in my generation. I am sorry if you were misled.LOL

I shall be back to blog about the CS !

So, I sleep with two guys everynight.....

Yeah, the title of today's post is no joke. Now I know what it is for two guys to want the attention of just one woman all at the same time. I have been contemplating running away but come to think of it, I can't give up now. I mean, everybody has said marriage is not easy ,this and that.... but no one told me that I'd never ever ever be able to sleep alone without any disturbance again!

My son for one has never slept in a cot,he prefers to sleep on my chest till morning. Ok,that was fun when he was still about 3 months old, this boy is nearly one and he weighs about 11kg and still enjoys sleeping on my chest or not sleep at all.

You See, I woke up a few weeks back with this terrible chest pain and that was just like 2 days after MJ passed on. My chest was hurting badly and I thought to myself, am i having a heart attack...you see I can be very paranoid over silly things. That is the way i am wired(using hubby's words) Eesh...

So I called him at work to say,my chest is hurting and I am not sure it is not an attack. The boy no gree stop laughing, I was getting pissed off the more but he didn't stop. Oh yeah, after making me feel like killing him he reminded me of the sack of rice that sleeps on my chest every nite!

The funny part is since lil man sleeps on the bed with us, it makes sense that he doesn't sleep in the middle so we don't suffocate the boy with blanket or the cover cloth. So, I always lay him to the side and we give him enough space to twist and turn around the bed, we then get to manage the quarter of the bed. Babies dey enjoy sha. But this boy will leave his won part of the bed and climb on me during the night,sometimes i just feel like shouting in the middle of the night for GOD to save me.........

Somebody help me.

Does A Man Who Cheats On His Wife Really Love Her?

On the radio this morning, a topic came up on whether a man who cheats on his wife really love them? Both sides had valid points. Guys were saying sex outside the marriage is simply a physical thing, a release so to speak, nothing intimate about it, no emotional connection involved, as long as you hide it well, you should be okay. Women were saying that if he truly loved his wife it just wouldn't happen period no matter the lust he felt, or the temptation thrown his way, for him to cheat on her meant he really didn't care.

My personal opinion is yes, a man can love his wife yet get pleased sexually elsewhere besides home. Love isn't the problem here, respect is. I feel that once you decide to propose and get married, you should understand the responsibilities that come along with that, especially fighting temptation. You CHOSE to take your relationship to the next level, she said yes with full faith and trust in you, most women do take those vows seriously.

Though to guys sex with someone else may not mean anything, they love their spouse to death and the last thing they want is to lose their family, to the woman that's a pain that's very hard to take. You didn't respect her enough to avoid the one thing that is a sure relationship ender. Mind you, in most cases the women find out either by the mans actions, or someone else, the last thing you'd want is her finding out by someone else telling her or bringing it to her attention, now not only is she being cheated on but also humiliated because others around her know but she doesn't.

It's even worse when you have children because it shows lack of respect for your family life as a whole. It's like your saying you were willing to risk all of that just for a simple relief that you could have gotten at home. Or even worse such as in the McNair case, the wife finding out AFTER he dies!!! How do you get through something like that?! You can't ask why, your hurt, angry, disappointed, here it is he's dead but your left with the questions not just from yourself but the kids and everyone else! How do you get through those emotions, anger, hate, love, hurt you name it! Wow I couldn't imagine.

I always tell people simply because you love someone is not enough of a reason to get married and start a family, both people have to be mentally and physically prepared for such an undertaking, it takes a great deal of maturity, compromise and sacrifice. No relationship is easy but with the right amount of understanding and communication it can be made less hard. Understand that issues that you had before marriage will not go away simply because your married, if your future husband is a partyer flirt, etc, that will NOT go away with marriage.

If your future wife is insecure, jealous etc...that will not go away with marriage. If two people are serious about making that step then certain things will start to wain before hand so that they can go into the relationship with a clear mind and work on it together. Unfortunately that rarely happens. I can't tell you how many weddings I've been too for friends, families and co workers where I'm saying to myself 'goodness these people should not be getting married!' But to each it's own, where the delusion that once you get married all problems stop come from is beyond me lol. So ladies I want to hear your take on this?

Guys I want to really hear your opinions as well. In fact I want to hear how it would be taken if the shoe was on the other foot, what would you do if you found out your wife whom never gave you an inkling of a clue as to her 'dipping' out on you, was cheating on you? Would you accept the it didn't mean anything reasoning? How would you take it if it came from your friends or peers? Would you leave or would you stay? If you stayed, how would it affect your trust and relationship as a whole, could you still look at her the same?


Oh, by the way:Culled from yahoo as I was too lazy to think of what to blog about.

Are second wives going to make heaven?

Now, this is a very controversial topic but the truth is it has been boggling my mind for a while now. I know that if we do a poll there is bound to be different answers as to why they should make heaven.Some people may never come by this blog again sef but well....

Talking from personal and other peoples experiences;
1. It is the second wife that in most cases makes the father of the house to stop caring, loving, and spending on his family.

2. The woman can also make it possible for the husband to disown his kids just because they refuse to accept new ''mummy''.

3. I have heard of instances of a father moving from his palatial home to live in a room and parlour with new wife.(now I call that true love, abi).

What on earth would make a 25year old woman that has the whole world in front of her decide that she wants to be a second wife! In this generation where people pray fire for fire. She just decided she'd rather have all her husband's kids and wife wake up and curse her every minute of the day. For instance, God forbid this happening oh, if my husband decides to have mistress not to talk of a wife outside shebi na just to do 7 days of white fasting that God should eliminate the woman. Shikena. Na so she go just die because of a man.lol

Nah, in all seriousness now. Can somebody please tell me if any second wife that entered the liaison willing or unwillingly make heaven. May God forgive us all sha.

IT'S PARRY TIME OH.TICKETS ARE LIMITED.

If only I can tell my mum, mother in law and in fact everybody telling me to celebrate my son's first year birthday then surely I will be SCREAMING SHUT UP PLEASE!



There is no sense in celebrating one year birthday, not that I do not appreciate God but does the recipient(well lack of word to use) understand why everybody wants to kiss, hug and cuddle him all at once. NO! He will probably cry all through the day and if one is lucky he can sleep all through sha..



Now i am dreading picking my mum or mother in law's call cos after all the normal how are you, the next topic is BIRTHDAY! So what are we going to put in the party packs, which venue, what is he going to wear. Are we making butter cake or cup cake? I am fed up oh you two.



What am I going to do now? I went for my friend's son 1 year party today. The boy slept,woke up and cry very well when he saw all the faces gathered to kiss him. So after the parry I called a few numbers that were stuffed in my bag by aunties and mummies as party planners. The least bill I was given was N150,000.00k for the venue and bouncing castle only! What happens to the food,the party packs and drinks nko. God forbid evil thing oh. How on earth am i gonna put down 250k for a parry? When I Can start a business with that sum of money.

Anyways just had a change of mind and I will be sending this text out to my friends and family
''Due to popular demand, my husband and I have decided to hold a party in honour of our cute little one. Venue is the Civic Centre and time is 4pm till dawn. Gate fee is N5,000 and we also have Aso Ebi for N15,000. Your presence will be highly appreciated. Come one,come all.

I am so sure after seeing this text no one will bother me again. Haba!

Help! He is abusing me and I can't leave him...

Oh well, to my concerned peeps I am not the one being abused but that statement was screamed down at me by one of my 3 best friends! Men! What do we do with and without them? That is just a very big question that I REALLY DO NOT KNOW the answer to.

Maybe I should start by telling you the whole story sef. I have been friends with my ''friend'' for my than 14 years so i can confidently say I know her very well. We have been through everything imaginable together, loving, being loved, heartbreaks, you name it. She had this perfect or well near perfect relationship when we were in Uni but somehow things just went wrong,thanks to the 2 people involved. (no shifting blames here).

Anyways,after the breakup, she has been in and out of relationships with people I can tag ''idiots'' if I am not being biased. I mean she is my friend I am supposed to support her anyhoo. As I dey talk sha, nothing came out of about 3 or 4 relationships and as women now, we always feel it is''our'' fault. I still dunno why women are like this sha.

I am even getting emotional, let me just cut the story short jare cos Mr husband here is wondering why I am not in bed at 12am. So she met this guy, perfect in all aspects. Treated her like a queen from the beginning and she fell hard and flat.

Well, I had my reservations from the onset but then in a situation where a woman is in her 30's and all her friends are married or in serious relatiosnhips then you know that it takes the grace of God not to fight if/when you give some unsolicited advise. So well i decided to keep praying for her.

But she noticed this guy doesn't like when she greets people on the street. She gave instances of meeting up with old Uni mates that are guys and this guy actually go bunkers just because she stopped to hug and say hello to men! What kain rubbish is this one I thot to myself. So there was a particular day she went shopping for the 2 of them oh and she had so many bags to carry, She was lucky enough to meet an old fried who volunteered to drop her at the nearest train station, while she was in his car, boyfriend called. She had to tell him she was even lucky she met someone who is dropping her at the station so he should meet her at the station and blah blah. She said I needed to hear all the guy said to her on the phone, swearing and cursing them both out. So sure she was cheating or how come she is always meeting someone that wants to help her and stuff.

So Mr husband to be asked my friend to move in with him and she did. Few weeks after, he proposed to her. Bummer you'd say abi? The petty fights over silly things never stopped. Fighting over staying too long on the computer, you talk too much with your friends. Why do you guys always say the same things when you talk( I have known women to repeat the same things over and over and we LOVE it, don't we?)
She said to me that this guy constantly hurls hurting words at her and then later go on his knees to say sorry. This is just mental and emotional abuse of a girl that is seeking love and attention from the man she loves.

There was a day she had serious menstrual cramps and she was in serious pain and crying, guy walks in from work and couldn't say any other thing apart from and I quote " you need to get a grip on yourself woman, you are not a baby''. For any woman out there that suffers from serious menstrual cramps I am sure you can imagine the pain!

As usual they had a heated argument one day and the guy actually shouted and said to her and I quote " I am so glad I have not married you oh.So this is the kind of woman that you are" I personally know that for me that would have been the final straw! I TOLD HER TO QUIT.Was that too much for me to say? Am I being insensitive to a lonely girl's plight?