That was a Tad Retarded of the Monkey(excuse me French)

I did not have such a good day yesterday. First i got into work and was summoned to a management meeting that the company i labour for tirelesly from 9 to 5 pm monday to friday has been bought by another company!

Yeah, good news it should be but the new owner wants to relocate the head office to Ireland. Are things that cheap in Ireland??? We were told yesterday that we are starting a 90 days consultation starting from the 1st of December and then we move into redundancy....

They also gave the options of anyone that wants to go to Ireland to apply. Ireland ko Norway ni. Imagine them shifting me out of my comfort zone and now asking me if i want to relocate to Ireland. Well, trust me now i told them i am willing to relocate if i will be promoted to the post of Head of HR. Imagine that kinda nasty news on a monday morning!!!!

I was jejely trying to make myself happy by reading all my favourite blogs when the RETARDED idit decided to post my full names on blogger. I send am message? Miguel said he was laughing at me cos i am guilty of the crime that i posted Tunde Odeyemi's name as well. If you ever read Tunde's blog, he sometimes say his full names which to me means he doesnt mind anyone knowing who he is. Dilichi and Adaure as well and i think smoothvibes also have their pictures on their blogs. I respect the fact that they can do that.Can you see now that i am not guilty Miggie??? I have not forgotten that i said i will beat you sha.

Anyways jare, after the unfortunate incident in the afternoon i went to M&S to order a cake for my birthday. Thou shall not allow redundancy to reduce my happiness.I got home and when i was talking to my father in heaven, i thanked HIM so much that if my manager heard me she would have cried. I cannot but thank HIM now,i so much believe that HE is going to take me to a PLACE(new job) better than what i am doing now. Can I hear a loud AMEN???

Taken out of office time to blog gotta go back. Dont want them to sack me cos i am sure they will be looking for every possible means not to pay me 1 month salary in advance. Thief Thief oyinbo people.LOL


I said it that these people are mad. I mean stark raving mad. Another memo now to say that salary wont be paid till the 29th of December. Whatever happens to buying xmas hampers and the xmas day turkey???

Can you see, really see how annoying they are. Trying to force me to go into depression with all their wahala. God dey o.

E gba mi o

Na jejely i dey browse the blog world and i saw a comment on my post about someone called sexydexy who decided to put up my full names on my blog,saying and i quote:you are into this nonsense thing called blogging??? What the heck? Dang:using Belle's word!!! Ki lode.

Even if you know me so well, why can't you respect my privacy of not wanting people to know my name and who I am??? How immatured can people be?? I knew this was all a hoax cos i tried to open the so called Sexydexy's webpage and nothing came up.I cannot remember taking any picture with anyone the last time i was in Nigeria. I have however challenged the person to mention his/her name if he/she is man enough!!

I HAVE MY SUSPICIONS THOUGH, we shall see....

Belle: see me see wahala,biko. Abeg will let you know about my birthday jare, and of cos Mosaic can come(you two are the soul of a parry)

O ma ga ke.

Funny How Time Flies...

Hey peeps, my mamma is leaving for Naija tonite. As much as i tried not to cry, i couldnt help myself. I bawled like a baby,not because she is leaving cos well i will be seeing her soon. I cried because i am back to eating noodles and supermalt! No more efo elegusi and pounded yam for lunch. No amala and ewedu with stock fish. I thought i wasnt going to miss her but dang i am. Sob sob.....

I have not talked about Ex in a long while, cos i was trying not to bore you wuth his gist. But honestly, the boy no leave my neck alone. Ever since the ''demise'' of our relationship in August, the boy sends me SMS everynight starting from words of encouragement, prayers, random gists, undying love for me.... the list is endless. I have created a folder in my phone for his texts. Na so the boy call me lastnite o,he wanted to tell me that he is on his annual leave and he is spending it in Dubai( i thought Dubai was my dream idea of a holiday spot). He wanted to know if i was free so we could spend some time together. Time together doing what jare, i asked him.

The boy is a monkey,well better put APE. I now had to ask him the reason behind all this calling and sending text everyday, which is very unlike him. The ''APE'' said i have learnt to do anything and everything to make what is mine stay as mine.

How he is planning to go about that one, ko ye mi o. Well, unless he puts £50 million in my accout and a 5 bedroom house in Maitama. I am becoming materialistic, i seems to have lost all hope in true love.

This two weeks with my mum just made me feel that i am not such a wonderful person. She kept saying that i have built a wal around me that is making it impossible for men to seek me. Coming from my own mother:the world is wicked.

To all of you wishing me a happy birthday in advance...uhmnn... don't think that is wht i want o. I am coming up with the list in a few days. All this is in advance cruise is an excuse to forget on the D Day. Birthday is 2nd of December, better write it down, set a reminder, start shipping my gift, just do something.LOL

Do have a pleasant weekend all, and you americanas no too chop turkey.

Funmi: I cant leave comment on your post.Dont know why.
Teva: Leave Naija Bloke alone o.

Blow Azuka and Soul Kisses For Moi.

I have got back all my POSTS!!!!

Azuka did that for me today.

Soul thanks for getting the posts out before google deleted them.

And blow me se kisses for not allowing the loss to weigh me down for long.

As for those of you asking me for what i want for my birthday: how about a trip to Fiji Island, a flat in Chelsea, a Bentley. Dinner date with George Clooney or just think of something that will make me jump up jare.

Will be back soon.

212

I have a feeling my mum has a hand in the loss of my blog, abi how else would you explain me telling the whole world i want to lease her and then the blog disappeared the next day!!!!!!!

She knew i was worked up about something but i couldnt tell her it was a blog lest the woman disowns me if she reads some of the previous posts. I was so sad all through saturday, she then decided to take me out shopping. For the first time in my young life i was not excited!

We spent the whole day buying and gisting as she is leaving this friday. She got quite a few things for me. She made me buy a skirt cos yours truly has just 2 skirts which i hardly wear. Sunday was basically the same thing, did not go to church cos we all woke up late.

I dreamt about the comments on my blog and i wasnt so shocked when i saw 35 comments. Darlings, i felt so special(i am fanning myself).

Wondering how i came about 212? It is my birthday on the 2nd of December. I couldnt think of any other title for my blog than that. In a nut shell, i dey try tell you all to send gifts on that day. I don't want blog comments o... gifts ni mo fe. U hear??

My mama is leaving this friday, i am missing her already. I promise never to say anything bad about her again cos i cannot afford to start another blog.

A big thanks to y'all

A big thanks to SOUL, LONDONBUKI,BELLE and AZUKA!!!

Guys i appreciate all your wahala to get my blog back online o. At the moment i am still trying to get everything together. Belle, thanks for those emails.
Azuka spent the better part of yesterday trying to sort it out with me online, Buki kept emailing to find out how far and of cos SOUL saved the day with the past posts she emailed to me. She also sent another email to explain to me what to do(if only she knows i am hopeless with all this things,aawgh!!!).

Teva: shey you don hear now o,SOUL na woman like us.
Bijou: someone else beat you to what you should have done, ehn... you need spanking.
Funmi: i am trying to see if i can blog jare, right now i have writers block.LOL
NaijaBloke: we no be friends again o.
Desola:thanks hun.
Biodun:becos of you i will stya in the blog world o.
LTRTG: thanks hun, we shd be sorted soon.
Angie: you made me smile, thanks
Micheal:thanks!!

If it allows me log in again,will gist y'all what my mum said when i told her i lost my blog. Catch ya larer!

Thanks a lot

Hey,
My day has been just too fantastic. First i lost my blog and was really sad!!! As in SAD. Then i got all those lovely comments from everyone and it was fantastic. My office was doing a fund raising thingy for children in need and i was told to sing!

Sing ke? A frog can sing better than i can. It was all in the name of fun tho and we were able to raise £250. I was meant to win a teddy bear for that but my partnerwon as i ddidn'tsing but watched him sing.

Have a lovely weekend peeps, thanks for all ya love and concern. I appreciate you all. I will be outta blogger for a while tho.

LOST MY BLOG

I couldnt believe that i could cry when i found out that i deleted my blog,or well i lost it somehow. Will be back in a few months to post some more if i feel up to it. right now i am mourning the loss of my blog!!!!!!!!1

From MEN to US

My weekend has been kinda hectic. Went to pick up my mama from the airport on friday and heck, the traffic???? Did not sleep till 1am as the woman wanted to hear all the gist of what has been happening to her daughters in one night, sorry in 3 hours. Talked to the point of developing a killer headache.

From wanting to kill me that i did not tell her that Ex and i are no longer together, she hearing from my brother and me denying on the phone when she asked me to Ex saying it was just a little fight that we were going to settle(when?) and blah blah blah..........

Hey mummies...... i tried to explain to her my standon the issue and at the end of our ''forum'' she accepted that i am not changing my mind. Phew. OBJ sef no talk reach that one during his campaign. I am so glad that she is around because that means yours truly will be eating proper Naija food for the next 2 weeks. No more noodles and supermalt for dinner,infact no Tuc for breakfast. I will surely add some flesh!

I was going to blog about random musings part 2 before i got this email and i though to share with y'all.

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be...
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument;
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are...
Don't ask us!

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
the other one.


1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done, not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have
to say during commercials...

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and
neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth thehassle.


1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's
like camping.

Random Musings

Moments To Remember:

Got thinking about some moments I would love to hold on to for life, na in I kon remember the day I celebrated my 10th birthday. I did not actually celebrate because my mom said that my birthday falling on a weekday means no celebration till the weekend after. Good deal I thought at first, she gave me chinchin and drinks to take to school to share with my classmate. Unfortunately for me , my sister and I share the same birthday. She did not get any chinchin to take to school because she wasn't 10 yet! Alright, we got to school and my sister started crying and knowing that I hate tears I let go of my goodies so my sister could celebrate her 6th birthday. Weekend came and no birthday o. Mum said shebi I gave you chinchin and drinks to share with your mates in school.......

I remember the day I met my first boyfriend: I was in Uni and so naive. He was a year ahead of me and much more matured. I was so attracted to him that it was like a disease in my system. We were in the same faculty and I used to dread us meeting in school because I couldn't even look him in the face. He was so gentle with me, always teasing me and calling me shy baby. If you think that is love then I am sure we need to have your head checked. That is total infatuation! One semester later the feelings died off and I decided to grow up, I boned every guy that came my way till I met Ex.

I remember the first day I met Ex.... uhmn. If anybody told me I was ever going to like him not to talk of date him and eventually love him I would killed the person with a kitchen knife. He is not the kinda guy I ''trip'' for. He is 6''1 and moi as londonbuki called me is a compact lady. I am just 5''5 if you call me short I will cry o I am what you call cute.Lol. I have never made the mistake of liking a giant, I prefer them my size and height so I can bully them! yeah, I have the bully streak in me.
You all know the story, I fell hook line and sinker and dated Ex for 5 years.

I remember my first day in Yobe State for NYSC. I cried buckets on my way from Abuja to Yobe, I met another babe on the bus I took to Yobe we were both ''ajebota'' dreading what lies ahead of us. In the cold chill of January, Yobe was freezing, flies were every where, you dare not laugh with your mouth too wide, or else you don chop flies be dat o. How I survived the 3 weeks orientation ehn,na only God know. I called mumsie everyday until she stopped picking my calls and decided to get me relocated to Abuja. Bless her soul for that, cos I threatened her that I heard the locals there rape corpers. Kia kia my mama spoke to the DG NYSC. Speed, found myself in the comfort of my home.

I remember the day I fainted in my community development group during NYSC. I did not know I already had typhoid no thanks to my stay in Yobe. I was always feeling weak and dizzy but never gave it a thought it could be malaria not to talk of typhoid. I was blaming stress. One good day, we were having a meeting and then I started feeling faint, I tapped the lady beside me and told her to help me mark attendance as I had to go home. I stood up and the next thing I remember was finding myself in the hospital.

As if that was not enough, after 2 weeks bed rest and enough pampering from Ex and the family I disgraced everybody in church a week after by fainting again during the holy communion. Dad just totally believed that I was pregnant. You need to see his face when he ordered my brother and my sister to take me to the hospital. We got to the hospital and the doc told my egbons to leave us alone I am sure the monkey thought I was pregnant. My sister started laughing and said to the doctor she is not pregnant. Doc said how sure are you. She replied very sure, we all started laughing.

To be continued... if you read this you have been tagged. Let us know moments that you remember vividly.

Let's Talk About Love

To all the Married, Singles and Almost married in the house:

FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!!!DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one seminar, a woman asked a common question. She said, " How do I know if I married the right person?"I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, " It Depends. Is that your husband?"In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's Weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer:
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fall in love with Your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.People in love sometimes say, " I was swept of my feet."

Think about the imagery of that ___expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls Become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, " Did I marry The right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown.

People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillments. Extramarital fulfillments come in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You Could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this): THE KEY TO SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND (??????)

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find " LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the ___expression " the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it Takes WISDOM.

You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific Things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity).

There are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise Program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your Relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. You can "make" love.Love in marriage is indeed a "decision".. . Not just a feeling.


Phew, that was a long one. Me think that after making our selves sad with the situation in our country for some weeks now. We can at least talk about love!

Hey, i had a lovely time on saturday. I went to see the premiere of the movie ''WIDOW'' starring Stella Damasus. It was a Naija thingy,saw a lot of old friends i saw last about 5 years ago. I got to see my screen idols:RMD and Stella Damasus. You know how obsessed i am about Naija films but only yoruba ones o, but anyways i love to watch RMD and Stella do their thing. Will save the gist for another day.

Another Goof(I hope not)

With Chief Fani Kayode as the new Minister of Aviation, what does he know about the industry? Just like Kema Chikwe, Isa Yuguda, Babalola Borisade... they knew absolutely nothing about the industry.

Why can't our President put in someone that is a seasoned aviator as a minister? What is a carpenter doing admnistering drugs? It is only in our obodo Nigeria that a medical doctor is appointed as minister of Justice and a S.A.N will be taken to Ministry of Education.

I still stand on my point that cutting of a head is not the remedy for a nasty headache(na our elders talk so). He is coming in at a very sensitive period and God knows if anything should go wrong again, I pray people won't decide the should just throw him from a flying plane! Lets us all approach siddon look stand and see what uncle Femi wants to do.

It is so scary that i am going to Nigeria in december and i need the local flight between Abj and Lagos, as it is now, na to walk to lagos as the fear of armed robbers during festive season no go gree me take car or bus o.

Naija bloke, i feel you jare. Desola: don't lose hope yet in our system lets keep praying for intervention. Make i quickly start what my company pays me to do.

Have a lovely weekend peeps and remember our country in ya prayers.

Anger!

To be honest, i am really angry today. And on a wrong day for that matter, not that there is a good day to get angry anyways. Someone left a vile comment about me on someone's blog. I am not ready to mention names now cos it will make the whole issue go on and on. Just imagine o!!! Na by force to leave comment???

Anyway as if that was not enough, some people are calling for the head of Minister of Aviation! Why do we always leave the important issues on ground and chase after the less important ones. Agreed, his tenure has been plagued with tragedies but shey na the man dey ''drive'' all the planes? Why did we not say they should sack the Minister of Transport each time we record nasty accidents? WHy not sack foreign affairs minister and that of finance when we all got to know how much of our money are stored in banks abroad. Shey those ones don't know how the money got out of the country ni?

Every system in Nigeria is rotten, education, power, aviation... name it. It is just very sad that innocent citizens will bear the brunt of all the resulting wahala.

Are we sure the Presidency releases enough money to even sanitize the ministries sef. All we read about is Atiku and Obasanjo washing their stinking bum bum in public, who bloody cares if they have cheques to prove that Obasanjo is a thief!

This man(Borisade) said today that he doesnt have divine powers to stop planes from crashing, at least that one no be lie. Why would the owner of an airline buy a plane that is near its grave: where is his conscience nitori Olorun?

Let me stop before you think i am related to the man in any way. It is just annoying.