Help! He is abusing me and I can't leave him...

Oh well, to my concerned peeps I am not the one being abused but that statement was screamed down at me by one of my 3 best friends! Men! What do we do with and without them? That is just a very big question that I REALLY DO NOT KNOW the answer to.

Maybe I should start by telling you the whole story sef. I have been friends with my ''friend'' for my than 14 years so i can confidently say I know her very well. We have been through everything imaginable together, loving, being loved, heartbreaks, you name it. She had this perfect or well near perfect relationship when we were in Uni but somehow things just went wrong,thanks to the 2 people involved. (no shifting blames here).

Anyways,after the breakup, she has been in and out of relationships with people I can tag ''idiots'' if I am not being biased. I mean she is my friend I am supposed to support her anyhoo. As I dey talk sha, nothing came out of about 3 or 4 relationships and as women now, we always feel it is''our'' fault. I still dunno why women are like this sha.

I am even getting emotional, let me just cut the story short jare cos Mr husband here is wondering why I am not in bed at 12am. So she met this guy, perfect in all aspects. Treated her like a queen from the beginning and she fell hard and flat.

Well, I had my reservations from the onset but then in a situation where a woman is in her 30's and all her friends are married or in serious relatiosnhips then you know that it takes the grace of God not to fight if/when you give some unsolicited advise. So well i decided to keep praying for her.

But she noticed this guy doesn't like when she greets people on the street. She gave instances of meeting up with old Uni mates that are guys and this guy actually go bunkers just because she stopped to hug and say hello to men! What kain rubbish is this one I thot to myself. So there was a particular day she went shopping for the 2 of them oh and she had so many bags to carry, She was lucky enough to meet an old fried who volunteered to drop her at the nearest train station, while she was in his car, boyfriend called. She had to tell him she was even lucky she met someone who is dropping her at the station so he should meet her at the station and blah blah. She said I needed to hear all the guy said to her on the phone, swearing and cursing them both out. So sure she was cheating or how come she is always meeting someone that wants to help her and stuff.

So Mr husband to be asked my friend to move in with him and she did. Few weeks after, he proposed to her. Bummer you'd say abi? The petty fights over silly things never stopped. Fighting over staying too long on the computer, you talk too much with your friends. Why do you guys always say the same things when you talk( I have known women to repeat the same things over and over and we LOVE it, don't we?)
She said to me that this guy constantly hurls hurting words at her and then later go on his knees to say sorry. This is just mental and emotional abuse of a girl that is seeking love and attention from the man she loves.

There was a day she had serious menstrual cramps and she was in serious pain and crying, guy walks in from work and couldn't say any other thing apart from and I quote " you need to get a grip on yourself woman, you are not a baby''. For any woman out there that suffers from serious menstrual cramps I am sure you can imagine the pain!

As usual they had a heated argument one day and the guy actually shouted and said to her and I quote " I am so glad I have not married you oh.So this is the kind of woman that you are" I personally know that for me that would have been the final straw! I TOLD HER TO QUIT.Was that too much for me to say? Am I being insensitive to a lonely girl's plight?

NEPA oh! Please I am tired of the sound of the generator.....

So it is no gist that yours truly followed my heart/love to move back to my father land. But NEPA abi na PHCN???? Are they planning to frustrate me?? What have we done to deserve this from NEPA oh sorry PHCN in the Ikeja axis of lagos?

Why do we have to go for 3 days without light?
If dating a top PHCN oga will give us light I will gladly donate some babe in the neighbourhood who is a ''do it all''.

I can't even wear all my sexy night dresses thank to heat na to sleep naked and i end up feeling and looking like Iya Awero.I cant even cuddle up with boo in the heat, you know there is a difference between fan and AC now. The generator runs 24 hours! The noise from everybody's gen at night sef makes me feel I live in a quarry.... God, please save Nigeria.

Ehen jare on a lighter note, I noticed that it has been raining every friday night for the past 3 weeks and boo will still insisit on going out as usual. Is that he doesnt understand the ''term'' or ''act'' of rain? Rain means stay at home and play with your family. Until I start to raise nose na so the boy go dey iron shirt and look for shoes to nack. This men sef why do they feel that going out is the best way to relax after a long week. Imagine if I decide to hang out on a friday night too... I may just do it once or twice to drive home my message. The sad thing is I will just punish myself that day sha in all honesty. Going out is just not my thing, I'd rather stay at home and watch youruba movies, read city people, check facebook and then flip through the pages of mills and boon.

I am even thinking of doing something drastic,maybe I should....ok I won't.

Raining now, DSTV has gone off thanks to the rain so I cant even watch my fav Ellen Degeneres show. Boo is out, lil boo is sleeping. Facebook is dry, the generators are killing me with the noise.

The cycle continues.....

Oh death, where is thy sting. Goke and Tokunbo....please rest in peace.

This past few days......just so full of events.

God, I am never going to complain again about whatever situation I find myself. I just want to keep thanking you.

The passage of this two great guys opened my eyes to another side to life. This world is useless. Vanity upon vanity, we suffer, we labour, we toil but you know what? God knows when to blow the final whistle!

Tokunbo Dawodu was a happy go fellow, always full of smiles. Went to church on Wednesday for midweek service and by Thursday morning he was already dead. Cardiac arrest! He was only in his early 30's.

All his dreams, aspirations, desires.....gone. Gone forever!

Goke Jimoh....where do I start. Easy going dude. Tho I haven't seen him in a few years since he moved to America after Uni. Heard about 2 years ago that he was battling cancer but he got over it. Then my friend called me now crying.... Goke has joined the saints!

Oh God, please put an end to all this untimely death. This is enough oh.
Father please grant Tokunbo and Goke eternal rest as they join the league of fine gentlemen resting with you.

My heart is heavy.