Should Married Couples Sleep In Seperate Rooms

Peeps, I am so sorry I couldn't respond to the comments on my last post. Abeg vex not. It has not been easy this past week juggling motherhood with wife hood(if there is any word like that). Please, I appreciate everyone that passes by my page whether you leave comment or not.

I kind of always wonder if it is a MUST for couples to actually sleep in the same room. For one, I am not sure if I can sleep in a separate room. My husband calls me a cat because if I don't feel his body next to mine at nights ehn....... story for another day.

Ok, ask me what of the times he has been out of town. How do I cope? That is the thing, I may not sleep immediately i get on the bed cos I will turn and toss and imagine he was right beside me. But, I will still sleep sha anyhow.

So I asked a friend of mine and she said no way,her husband snores like a truck on the highway. She said and I quote '' I love my husband to bits but if we keep sleeping in the same room I will definitely start hating him''. Strong words but i totally understand. And that brings me to asking this question: Why must men snore????

My husband snores lightly and when he is very tired he actually ''SNORES''. For me sleeping with the lightest noise is an issue. I am a very light sleeper, any sound no matter how minimal wakes me up so you can imagine what it is to stay awake to hear your beloved snoring and sleeping peacefully. What i do most times is to tap him lightly and once he turns over he stops snoring.

Then I remember my uncle, Jesus Christ of Nazareth. If people can win award for snoring,he will by now have plenty gold medals. There was a time he came with his wife to spend some time with us. They both slept quite early on this fateful day and then mom told me to go pick up her bag from her room. I had to pass by the visitors room, and I thought i heard my uncle strangling my aunt. I had to run to call my mum that before uncle kills aunt make we alert the neighbours.

My mama no wear wrapper commot living room to find out what was happening. We barged into the room only to find husband and wife snoring their lives away. As husband was raising the bar the wife was supporting with her sonorous umphs. We laughed so hard and believe it or not they didn't wake up!

Some people are of the opinion that sleeping apart is the beginning of ''distance'' in a relationship. But shouldn't couples have time apart? I mean some ''me'' time. I am sure there are days either partner just wants to spread out alone on the bed and just sleep.

Whatchya think peeps?

I married a VAIN man.......

My husband is just different and maybe that is why we will forever be in love(amen).He is just very vain. I don't think that I have ever met someone that is so conscious of looks and other vain stuffs like him. Haba, his own is too much.

1. He doesn't like to see me in flat shoes. Anytime i do that it is just like I just twisted a knife through his fragile heart. You need to understand me on this, his face completely changes to something else. Like someone in serious pain. Me, I am flatie. I love my slippers like mad,why wear heels when I will limp for days from the after effect. I am a short woman oh but abeg, heels are for the likes of Posh and VERA EZIMORA.

2.When i fix weave on as we call it in Naija, it must have either a fringe or some dropping to the sides. I MUST on no account pack my hair behind my ears. To all women out there, can you please explain to my boo that we have what is called hot weather,I mean a season where people actually feel the heat!!!!

3. Oh,when yours truly wears pink, hubby expects me to use pink eye shadow. I mean the colours gast to match the outfit. He goes ''don't you have the shade in your eye make up bag'' sometimes just feel like screaming! There are days I just want to be bare faced, no make up. But hell no, he wont agree.

4. Mr O is a sucker for lip gloss. He doesn't like lipsticks. He can do anything for a woman with lip gloss. Imagine that. I am more of a lipstick person but he is always shouting please use the one that ''shines'' on your lips!

5. Moi, does not like to show cleavage in my outfits. Him, he wants me to show the whole world my two mudu of breasts oh. I don tire.

6. He is a sucker for labels. When I used to work on the Island, I always have to leave the house before him so he always has enough time to assess my dressing. You hear things like ''why don't you carry your Gucci bag,it will go well with that outfit''. Or, you should use a ferragamo belt on that pants. Kai, chineke! Vanity of the highest order.

7. I think I have blogged about the issue of food as in there are days that I do not know what to cook apart from rice, amala and pasta. (I suck abi, i know). So imagine that I call boo to ask him what to cook. He goes I really feel like roasted potatoes with fish fillet or some odd names that I sure know I cannot prepare. Why cant he ever say I want ogi(pap) and moin moin.

His vanity has actually helped me in a way. I am more conscious of the way I eat in public, seat, pack my hair and in fact drive my car sef. Biko, MR O you no get Part 2. But I love you anyhow.

Randomness In High Places

I know I promised myself that I will be regular blogger, so by fire by force I know I must update. The truth is there is nothing to blog about. But well, lets just cook up some randomness happening around me jare.

1. It is 1.16am and I am very much wide awake with hubby and son sleeping peacefully. Right now, if it wont be a crime o I probably would hit him on the head with a pestle cos he is snoring tho very lightly. I cannot stress how much I hate to hear people snore. Kai, this one wey God do me ehn....ok o.

2. My son was 1 on the 11th. Despite all the no parry business ehn,we still had a lil family parry. Imagine this, my sister in law woke me up early on the 11th that her driver is in my compound oh and that she sent him with the party packs for the party. I had to thank her profusely, you know how people can think you do not appreciate their efforts. So now that there are party packs, food and drinks must surface somehow. And the wahala started......

3. In the process of making coleslaw for the first time(lol) in my life, the stupid grater nearly took off my index finger. See blood gushing like Ogun river. Thank God that my finger didn't chop off.

4. Have I ever mentioned that my husband gets mad when I wear flat shoes? Kai,it is like an obsession. Biko, I don tire. I had to wear some bad heels all thru the ''gest togerra''. And boy, do I still have legs? I doubt. My thighs have been hurting all day plus my neck too.

5. Ok, putting some of the pictures on face book sef as I type. No vex for those of you that wont see it but to those that will do,all da best.

Cathya, laer.

The Wedding Game....

This is so totally random a post. I don't know why I have been thinking about the way we ''waste'' money in Africa over ceremonies. The one that bothers me the most is weddings. Why do we have to spend so much on wedding ceremonies.

A typical Naija Bride wants to wear a dress that cost between $3,000 to $15,000. Now, I do not have a problem with that if your father is Otedola or the present President of Nigeria(which means that your father don chop our money finish). Alright, back to the point after spending so much on the wedding dress, why chunk it inside a wardrobe for the remaining part of your life. Why?


Then, you find out that the parents of the couple can decide to ''die''(no pun intended) over aso ebi or the musician to sing on the wedding day. After which the musician will either make you cry or laugh your butts off. At my cousin's wedding, you won't believe the so called "Police Band" did not show face at the reception. We sort of clapped our way to the high table. I have never been more embarrassed in my life.

The part that annoys me the most is after spending 25 million naira for a wedding it will still end at 6pm maximum. If you still spend 100 thousand na the same 6pm and you will wear the same wedding gown.

The wedding planners are making money off us, do I blame them No! She has capitalized on people like you and I that most definitely are party freaks. Is it not madness for a wedding planner to take 10% of the amount you want to spend on your wedding. Of course, a wedding planner does a lot for you running around to get stuff for the wedding. But think about it, are those things really important.

I know a couple that spent close to 6million on their wedding and the couple do not have a car! Not even a rickety one to push them around. Another couple that are quite close to me spent so much time looking for souvenirs and aso ebi and MC that they forgot that the couple will not continue to live in the Uncle's house. They didn't get their own apartment. Madness, I call it.

Wait sef, why am I ranting... the purpose of this post is to ask this golden question

"DOES THE AMOUNT SPENT ON A WEDDING CEREMONY DETERMINES THE SUCCESS OF THE MARRIAGE ITSELF''.

It is the 1st Of August and I am pregnant yet again....

I am ever so grateful to God Almighty for today. This time last year I was about popping,heavy with pregnancy, dark and bloated. To climb the stairs was like a tough job and I can remember my aunt was always shouting you need to climb this stairs 8 times a day so that your delivery will turn out very easy. I climbed stairs so tey, my leg talk one day say: I NO SEND YOU ERRAND! With all my evening strolls and,prancing about, yours truly still had a Cesarean section when the boy no wan commot for my belle. I guess it was the pounded yam i was addicted to in my eight month. Kai, I chop iyan so tey my already round and big tummy will now become very hard and I will be breathing like someone that was ready to pass out. I too like food.lol

Anyways, lil man was due on the 13th but trust me I was already ready to push from the 1st of August, who is going to wait another 2 weeks,lai lai no be me. So, I started walking and cleaning the house with the hope of getting the boy frustrated enough to jump out. For where, the boy just stayed kampe for there oh.

As usual on the night of the 9th I took my ''Iyan'' as usual and went to sleep. Do I even call that sleep, I was just tossing and turning as no position was comfy anymore at that stage. Being gone that far means I normally ''pee'' like 7 times before morning(sad abi). So I went to pee as regular and i just saw blood, checked the time it was 4am. Blood ke, shebi the midwife said na water first,which one is blood.

Hubby was back in Nigeria then and I had to call my auntie to say ''auntie I saw blood''. She flew out of bed and called the ambulance. I was dazed, is this it? So I will soon be a mum. How come people now shout in movies, I am not feeling any pain now. I LIED!

Ambulance came,and I was taken to the hospital.The beginning of the pain/I spent 72 hours in the hospital out of which I spent 68 hours shouting and crying and begging God to forgive me if it was my sins that is causing all the pain. Oh, I nearly forgot this...when I got to the hospital they asked me if I wanted a pain relief or just go natural. I said natural all the way. I am a true African. Eesh, no one begged me when I started shouting for the ''epidural injection''.

Oyinbo people don go I swear, so why do women have to go through the pain of delivery when epidural can just take the pain away in 1 sec. I am not going to lie, I am so sure I died but God sent me back knowing fully well that I never build house for Ikeja GRA, no street has been named after me just yet and of cos,I am yet to fulfill God's plan for my life. Thank you jare Baba God. But for you....

So, I am sure that you are thinking,if she went through all this wahala why get pregnant again. Biko, no vex this pregnancy no be pickin dey inside oh. I am pregnant with IDEAS on how to make money and become famous in my generation. I am sorry if you were misled.LOL

I shall be back to blog about the CS !

So, I sleep with two guys everynight.....

Yeah, the title of today's post is no joke. Now I know what it is for two guys to want the attention of just one woman all at the same time. I have been contemplating running away but come to think of it, I can't give up now. I mean, everybody has said marriage is not easy ,this and that.... but no one told me that I'd never ever ever be able to sleep alone without any disturbance again!

My son for one has never slept in a cot,he prefers to sleep on my chest till morning. Ok,that was fun when he was still about 3 months old, this boy is nearly one and he weighs about 11kg and still enjoys sleeping on my chest or not sleep at all.

You See, I woke up a few weeks back with this terrible chest pain and that was just like 2 days after MJ passed on. My chest was hurting badly and I thought to myself, am i having a heart attack...you see I can be very paranoid over silly things. That is the way i am wired(using hubby's words) Eesh...

So I called him at work to say,my chest is hurting and I am not sure it is not an attack. The boy no gree stop laughing, I was getting pissed off the more but he didn't stop. Oh yeah, after making me feel like killing him he reminded me of the sack of rice that sleeps on my chest every nite!

The funny part is since lil man sleeps on the bed with us, it makes sense that he doesn't sleep in the middle so we don't suffocate the boy with blanket or the cover cloth. So, I always lay him to the side and we give him enough space to twist and turn around the bed, we then get to manage the quarter of the bed. Babies dey enjoy sha. But this boy will leave his won part of the bed and climb on me during the night,sometimes i just feel like shouting in the middle of the night for GOD to save me.........

Somebody help me.

Does A Man Who Cheats On His Wife Really Love Her?

On the radio this morning, a topic came up on whether a man who cheats on his wife really love them? Both sides had valid points. Guys were saying sex outside the marriage is simply a physical thing, a release so to speak, nothing intimate about it, no emotional connection involved, as long as you hide it well, you should be okay. Women were saying that if he truly loved his wife it just wouldn't happen period no matter the lust he felt, or the temptation thrown his way, for him to cheat on her meant he really didn't care.

My personal opinion is yes, a man can love his wife yet get pleased sexually elsewhere besides home. Love isn't the problem here, respect is. I feel that once you decide to propose and get married, you should understand the responsibilities that come along with that, especially fighting temptation. You CHOSE to take your relationship to the next level, she said yes with full faith and trust in you, most women do take those vows seriously.

Though to guys sex with someone else may not mean anything, they love their spouse to death and the last thing they want is to lose their family, to the woman that's a pain that's very hard to take. You didn't respect her enough to avoid the one thing that is a sure relationship ender. Mind you, in most cases the women find out either by the mans actions, or someone else, the last thing you'd want is her finding out by someone else telling her or bringing it to her attention, now not only is she being cheated on but also humiliated because others around her know but she doesn't.

It's even worse when you have children because it shows lack of respect for your family life as a whole. It's like your saying you were willing to risk all of that just for a simple relief that you could have gotten at home. Or even worse such as in the McNair case, the wife finding out AFTER he dies!!! How do you get through something like that?! You can't ask why, your hurt, angry, disappointed, here it is he's dead but your left with the questions not just from yourself but the kids and everyone else! How do you get through those emotions, anger, hate, love, hurt you name it! Wow I couldn't imagine.

I always tell people simply because you love someone is not enough of a reason to get married and start a family, both people have to be mentally and physically prepared for such an undertaking, it takes a great deal of maturity, compromise and sacrifice. No relationship is easy but with the right amount of understanding and communication it can be made less hard. Understand that issues that you had before marriage will not go away simply because your married, if your future husband is a partyer flirt, etc, that will NOT go away with marriage.

If your future wife is insecure, jealous etc...that will not go away with marriage. If two people are serious about making that step then certain things will start to wain before hand so that they can go into the relationship with a clear mind and work on it together. Unfortunately that rarely happens. I can't tell you how many weddings I've been too for friends, families and co workers where I'm saying to myself 'goodness these people should not be getting married!' But to each it's own, where the delusion that once you get married all problems stop come from is beyond me lol. So ladies I want to hear your take on this?

Guys I want to really hear your opinions as well. In fact I want to hear how it would be taken if the shoe was on the other foot, what would you do if you found out your wife whom never gave you an inkling of a clue as to her 'dipping' out on you, was cheating on you? Would you accept the it didn't mean anything reasoning? How would you take it if it came from your friends or peers? Would you leave or would you stay? If you stayed, how would it affect your trust and relationship as a whole, could you still look at her the same?


Oh, by the way:Culled from yahoo as I was too lazy to think of what to blog about.