My weekend has been kinda hectic. Went to pick up my mama from the airport on friday and heck, the traffic???? Did not sleep till 1am as the woman wanted to hear all the gist of what has been happening to her daughters in one night, sorry in 3 hours. Talked to the point of developing a killer headache.
From wanting to kill me that i did not tell her that Ex and i are no longer together, she hearing from my brother and me denying on the phone when she asked me to Ex saying it was just a little fight that we were going to settle(when?) and blah blah blah..........
Hey mummies...... i tried to explain to her my standon the issue and at the end of our ''forum'' she accepted that i am not changing my mind. Phew. OBJ sef no talk reach that one during his campaign. I am so glad that she is around because that means yours truly will be eating proper Naija food for the next 2 weeks. No more noodles and supermalt for dinner,infact no Tuc for breakfast. I will surely add some flesh!
I was going to blog about random musings part 2 before i got this email and i though to share with y'all.
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be...
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument;
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are...
Don't ask us!
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done, not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have
to say during commercials...
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and
neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth thehassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear Is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's
like camping.
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