Living Dangerously

The art of living dangerously is the only thing you can call what i have been up to since last week friday. On saturday i woke up quite early to clean up my flat and then i went shopping as the whole house was empty. I did not even have butter! Imagine that o. Cleaned and cooked a sumptous pot of stew. If you ever use to watch Maggi Family Menu on NTA way back in Naija ehn, i am sure Funmi Adeoye would have applauded my cooking.(if i dont blow my trumpet, who will?).
Later in the day i went for a women conference in church, i really did not feel like going because to be honest with you i think i have heardd enough about love and marriage to last me for a life time. But it was O.A's(ex) sister that insisted we MUST go. And go it was. It was really nice tho, very different from all the ''talk'' i have heard. The preachers did not spiritualize the issue of marriage.

She gave an example of a woman that used to beat her husband, all because she has papers and the husband doesnt. The husband went to report her to their pastor and asked for the pastor to disolve their marriage since she was the one that joined them in the first place. The pastor now asked the lady to come to her office with her husband to tell her side of the story.
Lets imagine i was there o, this was the conversation.

Pastor: why are you always beating your husband madam.

Wifey: He is a good for nothing old fool o, infact i have not beaten him yet o. Mo se se bere ni(i just started)

Pastor: what exactly are u aiming at mrs?

Wifey: I want to frustrate him to the point where he will beat me in return, then i will call the police and have him deported.

Pastor:(mouth wide open) deprt him ke? Why? E bad reach that one?

Wifey: beni ma. He is useless, no papers and he cant even work and contribute anythin to the upkeep of the house and kids.

Pastor: Did you not know all these before you agreed to marry him?

Pastor decided not to talk to wifey anymore, she faced husband and said the next time she lifts her hands to beat you sir. Beat her mercilessly and let them deport you. You will start a better life in Nigeria without this winch.(i am sure she did not use the word winch 0).

Chineke, i laughed so much tears were running down my cheeks in church on saturday. Some women sha.

Back to my living dangerously routine o jare, you wont believe that i have been drinking 2 bottles of coca cola everyday. Knowing very well that it isnt good for my health o. I just cant help myself, i need your prayers!!!!.

Bijou, i think we may have to go for the vacation in Spain sooner than we planned o. Ex is coming back to the UK for a 1 week course in London Business School. Na so the man call me tuesday night that he would be coming in 1st week in October and wants to stay with me! See me see trouble o. Alright the gist went thus

O.A: whats good madam? I dey come JD 1st week in October.

Temmy: Uhmn, for what again?

O.A: I have to attend a one week lecture and blah blah..........................................................

Temmy:ok that is good,abeg help me buy noodles when you dey come o.

O.A: no wahala. Meanwhile, can i stay with you for the one week?

Temmy: me? why me? why not....

O.A: the place is in Hendon and your crib is the closest. And eh, why are you talking like we have never stayed under the same roof before?

Temmy: yeah, but in the 5 years it was only when you lost your mum and it wasnt as if we were staying in the same room now just in the same house.
Moi was seriously looking for an excuse now.
I can arrange for your to stay at my place as i will be away in Leeds that week anyways.

Now i am stuck with going away to Leeds for an holiday that i truly deserve or just stay at a friend's till he leaves the UK.

Teva: shey you will be Chief Bride's maid? Calabar Gal, thanks for stopping by my blog. Bijou, prepare for our trip to Spain. Desola i will catch you ok.